The Bridge to a Better Life Read online

  “Natalie—”

  “No, Caroline. I need some time to myself after hearing all this. Please go.”

  They reached for each other’s hands as they turned to walk toward the door. That small sisterly touch made her chest hurt, and she had to fight the urge to rush over, embrace them, and tell them all was forgiven. That she was a horrible person for what she’d done. To them. To herself. But most of all, to Blake.

  But she couldn’t.

  If she did, they’d be right, and Blake would have succeeded in scaling her fortress again. She wasn’t about to allow that, whatever his reasons for coming back.

  They said goodbye to Touchdown and gave her one last look before they left. Once again, she was alone and numb, unwilling to feel anything. Just like after Kim died.

  It was no more than she deserved.

  Chapter 4

  Andy Hale didn’t always have Saturdays off from rounds at Dare Valley General Hospital, so he made the most of them when he did. Usually he would go on a hike or a bike ride up the canyon with his son, but today Danny was playing with his best friend, Martin, a couple of houses down.

  The house wasn’t in the best condition, but then again it never was. Between his long hours as a doctor and his role as a single dad, he didn’t have much time to clean. Hanging out with Danny would always be his priority, and if his kid wanted to play a few video games or read four stories instead of the usual two, well, then that was what they did. Dishes and laundry eventually got done. The lady he’d hired to clean the house once a week kept it from becoming a total pigsty. Sure, he asked Danny to try and clean up after himself, but the kid was only five.

  And he dirtied more shirts and pants than Andy could comprehend. How had his mother managed to do the laundry for all five of them when they were kids?

  His stomach growled, and he rubbed it. The Hale clan was getting together later for a BBQ at his brother’s house. He’d purposely eaten light since two local chefs would be bringing food to the potluck.

  He was picking up Danny’s train set lying in front of the TV, making a cursory attempt at tidying, when the doorbell rang. He stashed the toy in the blue plastic chest in the corner of the family room and jogged over to answer it. He opened the door to find his brother standing on the threshold, looking pissed.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked as Matt walked inside. “Your grill out of propane?”

  “No,” he responded, tossing his car keys in his hand. “Blake is here.”

  His head jerked back. “Huh? What do you mean here?”

  “He’s Natalie’s new next-door neighbor. He paid the Howards some obscene amount of money to secretly move. And he built a freaking bridge over the creek of my old place to connect their two properties. He plans to share Touchdown with her.”

  Everyone had wondered where Blake had gone after shocking the world with his retirement. Then the press had reported the news of his brother’s death, and Andy had taken a moment of silence to grieve with his old friend. Blake and Adam had been as close as he and Matt were.

  The whole family knew he wanted Natalie back, and had for some time, although they’d agreed not to interfere. Andy had always liked Blake and had considered him a brother until Natalie bushwhacked them all by leaving him. It seemed death’s call had given Blake a renewed fire, and part of Andy admired it.

  “How’s Nat handling it?” he asked neutrally.

  “How do you think? She asked me to look into the legality of the bridge. I asked her what difference it would make. I mean, if she makes a big deal of this, it will only become the talk of the town. Adam just died, for heaven’s sake. I don’t want to kick a man while he’s down, but he has to back off. Natalie is freaking out.”

  “If she’s freaking out, it probably means she still cares for him.” Something he’d always suspected.

  “I think we should go see him,” Matt said. “Get your shoes on. I assume Danny’s at Martin’s since he didn’t jump me the second I rang the bell. We can stop by to tell them we’ll be back in a bit.”

  Andy shifted his weight. “I don’t know, Matt. What about our family pact to stay out of it? I think Natalie and Blake need to work this out on their own.”

  Matt punched the air. “Look, I used to love the guy. He was part of our family, and it tore me up when he and Natalie split, but we can’t let this drag on—no matter what he’s going through. Nat made her decision, and it’s time for him to accept that. She’s already fought with Caroline and Moira about it.”

  That didn’t sound good. “What happened?”

  “Well, they broke the pact. They said she should give Blake another chance. They might also have mentioned that they’ve always liked him, and they admire him for giving up football for her.”

  Well, it was something worth considering, wasn't it? Blake lived and breathed football like Andy lived and breathed medicine. But his former brother-in-law had always carved time for Natalie and his family—his own and theirs—into his hectic football schedule. Andy was the same way, so he and Blake had shared a certain understanding because of that similarity.

  “All right, I’ll go with you, but I don’t like it.” He tugged on his shoes. “I also want you to promise me two things.”

  Matt leveled him a glance. “And what would that be, Andy Cakes?”

  Jeez, how he hated that nickname. “That you won’t be mean to him. He just lost his brother.”

  “Give me some credit.”

  “They don’t call you Matty Ice for nothing.”

  “I’ll ignore that. What’s the second thing?”

  “We hear his side of things.”

  His eyes narrowed like he was about to play hardball. “I’ve already heard his side of things, and I’m not saying he’s wrong, but it doesn’t matter. Natalie is our sister.”

  Being a lawyer, Matt saw the world more black and white than he did. Andy opened the door, grateful he didn’t need a jacket. Summer was finally approaching, thank God. Late snowfall a couple of weeks ago had made him want to pound his head into the ground. Die, winter, die, he’d chanted as he shoveled the drive for the umpteenth time.

  “Well, I haven’t heard his side of things,” he told Matt as they walked over to Martin’s house.

  “That’s because you were dealing with your own stuff then, and Blake knew not to bother you.”

  He halted in front of Martin’s front door. “That’s because he’s a good guy.”

  Matt shook his head stubbornly as he rang the doorbell. “Doesn’t matter. Natalie wants him gone, so he’s gone.”

  After seeing how closed off his sister had become since Kim’s death, Andy wasn’t so sure he agreed.

  Chapter 5

  When Blake opened the door to see his two former brothers-in-law, he had to fight the urge to pull them into a hug. He hadn’t seen them in almost two years. He and the Hale brothers had been close, and losing Natalie had also meant losing her family.

  “Here to break my legs?” he asked instead. After all, Matt probably wouldn’t respond too well to a hug right now. He looked like a pissed off defensive linebacker eager to flatten him to the ground.

  “No,” Andy replied as Matt opened his mouth—probably to say something very different. “We’re just here to talk. Blake, I’m so sorry about Adam. More than I can say.”

  “Yes, you have our deepest condolences,” Matt said, dialing back the PO factor.

  There was a flare of grief in his chest. “Thanks. I appreciate that. He had a tough year before he passed. In the end, I think he was ready.” The day before he’d died, his brother had confessed how much pain he was in and how tired he was of fighting. Blake had told him it was okay to go, and Adam had given him one last smile before slipping into unconsciousness.

  When he held out his hand for a shake, Andy bypassed it and pulled him into a hug. “It’s really good to see you, man.”

  He clapped him on the back before releasing him and had to wipe away some tears when he pulled away. He held out h
is hand to Matt, waiting to see if he would shake it. “I don’t expect a hug.”

  Matt snorted, but he shook his hand willingly enough. “Funny. I’m not much of a hugger.”

  It was a start.

  He’d made this move to Dare Valley knowing he would have to win over Natalie’s family as much as he would Natalie. The Hales were a unit, and he knew he had allies among them. The question was, would that influence Natalie? She had a head like a rock when it came to listening to anyone.

  “Come on in,” he said, heading to the kitchen. “I know it’s early, but would you like a beer?”

  “I’m fine,” Matt replied, now sounding every inch of his nickname, Matty Ice.

  “Sounds great,” Andy added, and Blake didn’t miss the elbow he landed in his brother’s ribs. “This is a big change from your place in Denver.”

  Blake opened a beer for himself, then slid an IPA and a bottle opener to Andy across the navy granite island in the center of the kitchen.

  “Sure you don’t want one?” he asked Matt, who shook his head.

  “Let’s head outside. Nice to have warm weather finally. Winter was a bitch this year.”

  “Blake,” Matt said in a cool tone, “this isn’t a social visit. Natalie informed me this morning that you up and bought my neighbor’s house and built a bridge connecting your properties.”

  Rather than answer right away, he led them out to the back patio. Sure, the deck was smaller than the one he had in Denver—heck the whole house was smaller by two thousand square feet—but it had a killer view of the mountains. Settling back into a deck chair, he kicked his feet out in front of him. This conversation was going to take a while—or so he hoped—and he wanted to get comfortable.

  Andy sat in an adjoining chair and pushed another toward his brother. “Come on, Matty Ice. Take a load off.”

  When Matt dropped down into the chair, Blake settled the bottle on his knee and looked from one of the Hale brothers to the other, staring each of them straight in the eye like he’d do with his teammates in the middle of a losing game.

  “Two months ago at the Denver Raiders’ annual spring dinner, your sister kissed me. Even more telling, she actually cried. I know she still loves me, and God knows I love her. I left football to show her she’s everything to me in the hopes she would finally let me back into her life. After Kim died, she totally shut down.”

  Andy flinched, and though he hated to bring up memories that were painful for all of them, Blake pressed on.

  “She wouldn’t talk about it. She wouldn’t grieve. And then a few days after the funeral, she picked a fight with me about having a baby and left. I tried to…dammit…reach out to her, but she wouldn’t even talk to me, let alone agree to marriage counseling. She sure as hell wouldn’t go to the therapist I recommended so she could talk about Kim.”

  This time Matt looked away, his jaw locked. Blake took a sip of his beer to wet his dry throat.

  “You both know her. She hasn’t been herself. I’m not saying I expected her to do jumping jacks after Kim died. But Natalie shut out the world around her. I know what it’s like to grieve for a brother, and your sister hasn’t let herself mourn Kim.”

  “How do you know she hasn’t worked through her emotions since she left you?” Matt asked.

  “She was living in a crappy place in Denver. You both know it. She didn’t paint any walls or put up any pictures. She refused to take the majority of her stuff from our house. That’s not Natalie.”

  “How do you know that?” Matt asked, leaning forward in his chair. “Were you spying on my sister?”

  “No! I would never do that. A couple times in the beginning, I dropped by with Touchdown. She closed out that poor little guy too, and you know how much she loves him.”

  “Maybe she was just ready to be done with you,” Matt said, rising from his chair. “Maybe there was other stuff going on between you two.”

  Anger spurted hot and fierce through him. “What are you talking about? Do you think I messed around with other women while we were married?” He rose and got in Matt’s face. “You damn well know I love your sister. I would never have cheated on her.”

  “Enough!” Andy shouted, yanking on his brother’s shirt. “Sit down. Both of you.”

  Blake sat down and took some deep breaths to regain control of himself. Spouting off at Matty Ice wasn’t going to help anything. Matt resumed his seat.

  “Matt, I agree with Blake here.”

  “Grief takes time—”

  “No one knows that better than I do,” Andy said. “But Natalie changed after Kim was diagnosed, and she hasn’t come back.”

  “Neither have you,” Matt said in a hoarse voice.

  Blake’s throat thickened, hearing that. Andy ran his hand through his hair and took a drink of his beer.

  “Yeah, not the whole way, but I’m making progress. Shit, God knows I’ve cried, and I don’t say that to sound like a baby, but I’m a doctor. Crying is the body’s way of coping with grief, and if grief isn’t processed, disease, depression, and a whole list of other stuff can lie in wait for a person.”

  “Natalie never cries,” Matt said. “Some people—”

  “Then it’s all the more significant Natalie cried in front of Blake at the dinner,” Andy interrupted. “I’m not saying I’m pushing for them to get back together. It’s her choice. But I think we need to be honest about how she’s doing and help her.”

  “I’m here because I want to help her too,” Blake interjected. “Look, I want her back. I won’t lie. But if she really doesn’t love me, doesn’t want to be with me, then I’ll let her go. But we both need closure. I…”

  He broke off, feeling the rawness of the emotion, the pressure of the odds against him.

  “I want her to be happy again, and if I can help with that…well, then leaving football was worth it. If we can’t be together, then at least we can help each other heal. She can move on, and so can I. But after that kiss and her reaction to it…well, I know in my gut she still loves me. Just like I knew we could run a quarterback draw in the Super Bowl and score.”

  Matt and Andy were big enough Raiders fans to understand what he was saying. That play was considered one of the all-time greatest, and he’d called it on a hunch. All of them went quiet, and for a long moment, the only sound was a woodpecker doing damage to the mighty oak thirty yards off. Blake fell deeper into that place inside himself where everything was calm, the one he’d learned to seek out at life’s toughest moments. It took a while, but he got there.

  “So, how’s Danny?” he asked, wanting to steer the conversation to happier trails.

  A smile softened the tense line of Andy’s mouth. “Growing up fast. He loves living in Dare Valley. He’ll be happy to see you…when and if the time comes.”

  That was fair. No need to confuse him. “I’ve missed that kid.” God, he was getting choked up here. “Losing Natalie was hard enough, but…I’ve missed the rest of you too, dammit.”

  “Ditto, man,” Andy said and took a swig of his beer. “What are your plans beyond winning my sister back?”

  He told them. It would be public knowledge today, anyway.

  “That’s great, Blake,” Andy said. “Adam would be really happy about your camp. It’s a wonderful tribute. He always loved to throw the ball around.”

  So many memories flashed through his mind that he had to clear his throat. “Yeah, he did.”

  “Anything you need on that score,” Matt finally said, “you let me know. It looks like I’ll be mayor come November since no one’s stepped forward to challenge me after the primary.”

  His offer indicated he was softening. “Thanks. Congrats, by the way, on your engagement and your foray into politics.” Matt had always been a natural leader, so it hadn’t surprised Blake to learn he was about to become Dare Valley’s new mayor. “I always said you would have made a great quarterback if you could throw a decent spiral.”

  “Suck it, Cunningham,” he shot back, a
phrase they’d bandied about years ago.

  His chest lightened. “Now that I’m retired, I’ll have more time to teach you how the big boys do it.”

  Matt snorted. “You’re delusional.”

  He laughed, and the sound was rich and deep enough to scare off three squirrels that had been lurking on the deck.

  “I’ll talk to Natalie,” Andy said casually, and Blake’s heart rate spiked.

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s still up to her,” Andy added, finishing off his beer and setting it down on the ground.

  “Like she’d ever make a decision based on someone else’s opinion,” Blake said dryly. He ran a hand through his hair. “You need to know, I don’t want to hurt her, but this thing between us…and Kim…it’s going to hurt. It’ll be like putting a shoulder back in the socket.” Having dislocated his shoulder before, he knew just how acute that pain could be.

  “I know it,” Andy said. “Good thing you have people around who know how to bandage things up.”

  “Just don’t be too hard on her,” Matt added with a small smile. “She needs to know she’s tough. It’s who she is.”

  Her attachment to that identity—her belief that being tough meant standing firm against normal human emotions—was what was hurting her, but then he couldn’t say too much to her brother about that. In many ways, Matty Ice and Natalie were cut from the same cloth.

  “I’ll be as gentle as I can be,” he promised.

  “Good. Now, why don’t you grab me a beer? Seems I’m behind you guys.”

  He rose with a smile on his face. “Have it in a jiffy.”

  As soon as he was in the house and out of their sight, he did a victory dance. He felt like a champion right now.

  After all, every football player knew a Super Bowl was won one victory at a time.

  Chapter 6

  Natalie decided the kitchen sink needed a good scrubbing, hoping it would keep her cold hands occupied and keep her mind from betraying her with thoughts of Blake. Touchdown sat on the floor, grinning at her like a goofus, and darn it all if she didn’t find herself smiling too—when she wasn’t frowning, of course.